Week 2b

Where do I begin today? Tim is just so sweet. He really is. The more we talk, the more we discover how much we are alike, from the way we both over explain things, just to make sure the one we are talking to understands what we are really trying to and not just what thye interpret, down to they way we feel for each other. Every day truly is a blessing sent by God, especially when you are in love with someone as wonderful as Tim. The other afternoon, Tim told me how one of his friends felt about our new relationship. His friend had only seen a few pictures of me and only knows of me through Tim, and he told Tim that he truly does believe that I have been sent to him by God.

Week Two

This has been an amazing weekend and its not even over yet. On Friday night, I went out to Tim’s house. We had dinner and watched a movie, Across the Universe. We talked about all kinds of stuff that night. We talked about the two of us, where we both were in our friendship of getting to know each other. Tim told me that he really has found himself falling for me and I told him that I have fallen for him. He told me how he would really like to call me his girlfriend, if it was ok with me. I agreed, it was the thing to do. We shared our first and second kiss that night. Oh, such nice kisses, sweet, gentle, kind. Just like him. Today, we have talked a lot. We have both now come to realize that this relationship has moved forward a lot faster than either of us would have ever known it could. I have known that I was in love with Tim since last weekend, the weekend of Valentine’s Day. After I had confessed my original, but short lived thought, and he understood with no problem and still wanted to get to know me, I knew in that moment that I was in love with him. For him it didn’t come until this weekend. I think he might have had a suspicion before now, but he really knew this weekend. It happened, as he told me, while he was upgrading his myspace page, to include a little something in there about this wonderful girl he had met, me, and how much I meant to him. He also mentioned how I can always seem to make him smile and knowing that I am happy makes him happy. But still, as he sat there with those thoughts, he still hadn’t totally known, not until later on that day when I had put a comment on his myspace profile. I had put a comment on there saying that I didn’t care what kind of car he drives, where he lives, if he is on the A list, the B list, or the never heard of list, that I only cared about the words that fluttered from his mind, that they are the only thing he owned, the only thing I would remember him by. That I would not fall in love with his bones or skin, nor would I fall in love with the places he has been, that I would not fall in love with anything but the words that fluttered from his extraordinary mind. There was another small one I attached to that one. It said, meeting you was fate, being your friend was a choice, falling for you was beyond my control. After Tim had read that, that is when he knew for sure, that he was in love with me. He had also had 2 different dreams about me the night before. He says that was God talking to him. And then to have wrote what he did on his profile page and after reading my comments, he knew for sure. He told me as we were chatting online, that he usually prefers to say this in person and I told him, hmm, ok what? I had already known what he was going to say, but still asked what. I had seen the love in his eyes the night before as we talked. There was just a little twinkle in those big blue eyes of his, every single time he looked me in the eyes. I started to notice that when he would look me in the eyes, he would quickly glance at something else. But the twinkle was still there, every time he would look back to me. But he then told me that he loves me. Jokingly, I asked him you love me, are you talking to someone else and typed that in the wrong box by accident. I told him I was joking. He said no, that he really did love me. I then told him that I love him too and that I have known about my love for him since the weekend before. It is really weird how fast things have grown between us, but we are both enjoying every minute of our growing love for each other. We both hope to spend a lot more time together, making many memories of making each other happy. We hope to sit and hold hands and talk for many, many more hours. We hope to just hold each other, lovingly, and not let go unless we have to. We hope to make memories of us, together and happy for a long, long time to come.

The Beginning

At first when I read about Tim on yahoo and myspace, I really like what he had to say and then I read that he has muscular dystrophy and uses a wheelchair. And no, everything didn’t change in how I felt about him, I just got scared almost. Concerned mostly, about him. I wondered if we would be able to be in a relationship together. But then something came over me, I suddenly felt ashamed of thinking that. As if someone else had temporarily taken over my thought process. Why was I being so judgmental, I have never been that way before. Especially after my oldest daughter was born. With her birth, I discovered that a person truly is who they are not what they are. A lifelong diagnosis doesn’t make a person who they are, it just makes them stronger. I got to know Tim for who he is, not what is diagnosis is. As I got to know Tim for who he is, I also accepted the fact that he has muscular dystrophy and uses a wheelchair. Almost 2 months after we started emailing each other, I finally told him how I had felt in the beginning. Tim stays on my mind all day long. I look forward to hearing from him daily. I have found myself researching the particular type of muscular dystrophy that he has, Duchene muscular dystrophy. It is very sad to read about what he had to go through and what is still to come. But I have accepted Tim and his diagnosis, as well. God willing, I would like to be there for Tim as he takes that journey through what is left of his life. I want to be able to spend a lot of time with Tim, getting to know more and more of him, until there is nothing left to learn. Tim is a very sweet guy, probably one of the sweetest guys I have ever known. I hope that he is right, I hope that he proves all the doctors wrong and lives until he is 80 or even 100. I would love to share that time with him. He is still so full of life, it is hard to believe that his life is limited. You would never know that by listening to him talk. He is a very intelligent person, very spiritual, as well. He does this Tuesday’s Torch thing on myspace, and I know that he may be tired of me telling him week after week how great it is, but truly, it is great. It gets even better with each passing week. Also with each passing week, I find myself falling for him more and more. Wanting to do things with him all the time. Waiting to get home just to get on the comp to chat with him. Talking to Tim makes me happy. Even when I have to be honest and I think it might upset him. I didn’t, not as of yet, and it felt great to be able to tell him. On February 6, 2009, I met Tim. We met at a place called Augello’s. They had a guy there playing the acoustic guitar and singing. It was great. Tim and I sat there for over two hours talking and listening to that guy play his music. I swear it didn’t seem like it was two hours. Neither of us wanted the night to end, but me being the person I am, didn’t want his mom to have to keep riding him around. I am sure that she is used to it, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that to her. Tim finding me on myspace, truly has been the best thing in my life. If he wouldn’t have found me, we would have never met. I am glad that I got over my fear and concerns in the beginning, and allowed myself to get to know him. He truly is a great person to know. He is a great person to talk to. He is a great person to be around.