The Beginning

At first when I read about Tim on yahoo and myspace, I really like what he had to say and then I read that he has muscular dystrophy and uses a wheelchair. And no, everything didn’t change in how I felt about him, I just got scared almost. Concerned mostly, about him. I wondered if we would be able to be in a relationship together. But then something came over me, I suddenly felt ashamed of thinking that. As if someone else had temporarily taken over my thought process. Why was I being so judgmental, I have never been that way before. Especially after my oldest daughter was born. With her birth, I discovered that a person truly is who they are not what they are. A lifelong diagnosis doesn’t make a person who they are, it just makes them stronger. I got to know Tim for who he is, not what is diagnosis is. As I got to know Tim for who he is, I also accepted the fact that he has muscular dystrophy and uses a wheelchair. Almost 2 months after we started emailing each other, I finally told him how I had felt in the beginning. Tim stays on my mind all day long. I look forward to hearing from him daily. I have found myself researching the particular type of muscular dystrophy that he has, Duchene muscular dystrophy. It is very sad to read about what he had to go through and what is still to come. But I have accepted Tim and his diagnosis, as well. God willing, I would like to be there for Tim as he takes that journey through what is left of his life. I want to be able to spend a lot of time with Tim, getting to know more and more of him, until there is nothing left to learn. Tim is a very sweet guy, probably one of the sweetest guys I have ever known. I hope that he is right, I hope that he proves all the doctors wrong and lives until he is 80 or even 100. I would love to share that time with him. He is still so full of life, it is hard to believe that his life is limited. You would never know that by listening to him talk. He is a very intelligent person, very spiritual, as well. He does this Tuesday’s Torch thing on myspace, and I know that he may be tired of me telling him week after week how great it is, but truly, it is great. It gets even better with each passing week. Also with each passing week, I find myself falling for him more and more. Wanting to do things with him all the time. Waiting to get home just to get on the comp to chat with him. Talking to Tim makes me happy. Even when I have to be honest and I think it might upset him. I didn’t, not as of yet, and it felt great to be able to tell him. On February 6, 2009, I met Tim. We met at a place called Augello’s. They had a guy there playing the acoustic guitar and singing. It was great. Tim and I sat there for over two hours talking and listening to that guy play his music. I swear it didn’t seem like it was two hours. Neither of us wanted the night to end, but me being the person I am, didn’t want his mom to have to keep riding him around. I am sure that she is used to it, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that to her. Tim finding me on myspace, truly has been the best thing in my life. If he wouldn’t have found me, we would have never met. I am glad that I got over my fear and concerns in the beginning, and allowed myself to get to know him. He truly is a great person to know. He is a great person to talk to. He is a great person to be around.